Crocs and socks; anyone got fashion police on speed dial?
It’s 8.17am and I’m on my usual walk to the station en route to the office. Happily plugged in listening to Tom Middleton in a world of my own, I’m rudely snapped back to the fact I was running a bit late (worth it after shunning the heels for my new amazing, favourite boots) by the offending footwear of a Chiswick neighbour. One; Crocs. Two; socks. Am I missing something? Not to mention said socks, were in-fact, the instantly arrest worthy fashion faux pas of tea coloured, Nora Batty-esque ‘pop-socks’ worn by ladies of a certain ‘age’, collection of fungal nail infections and other cringe worthy hoof related obscenities.
In 2003, three Colorado based founders braced the world with their hideous footwear ‘universally accepted as an all purpose shoe for comfort and fashion’. The 80s neon rave inspired ‘Crocs’ that you can clip, stick and loop things to have been self described as ‘colourful and comfy’. Most Laboutin lovers and sartorially educated ladies should be fully aware of the golden rule never to sacrifice comfort for fabulous footwear. Anyone caught flouting this un-written, Stone Age, rule (especially with monstrous clog like Crocs) surely should be hung, drawn, quartered and nailed to a cross at any nearest opportunity. Hold on, does that mean I’m next as a lover of the flat?
Back to the lady with the offending pop-socks: maybe it was the fact she was accompanying her teenage daughter to school and wanted to be hip with the ‘in-crowd’. Realistically, she was actually teetering on the edge of embarrassing her daughter to such an end; she’d never gain an ounce of playground Qdos. Factor in age, sex and the possibility of public humiliation (whether you care to acknowledge or not what other people think) and it won’t take long to realise It’s a sad fact that there are certain trends not all of us can carry off.
Prior to the croc crime of Chiswick, (which merely illustrates the need for the following), I decided to create the Facebook group ‘Shoes that Suck’. Being a regular to spotting trends, tricks and teenagers for their style on the street, I’d like to fully vocalise how much I regret not having my neck chain camera ready to snap this morning.
Moral of the story? Moccasin, mule or sneaker…..no unabashed female with the slightest fashion forward thought (whether aged 14 or 42) should ever unleash a pair of Croc, smurf style plastic platforms on top of her toes. However, anyone wearing such incriminating shoes should at the very least deserve to have their five minutes of fame in a pointless, just for fun group for Shoes that Suck.