End premature ripening, irregular shaping and fruit shaped trauma with Bananaguard


Ever wondered how to stop your banana getting battered, bruised and liquifying en-route to work or school?  ‘Passionate purple’, ‘mellow yellow’, ‘sublime green’ or glow in the dark (because everyone looses their banana at night) – look no further than Bananaguard.


This morning, a colleague brightened up our day in the office by sharing her newly acquired Bananaguard in all its glory.   Designed to accommodate all sized bananas, including those ‘highly curved’ which ‘can be straightened ever-so-slightly without harm’  the Bananaguard is made from high quality plastic and arrives complete with a sturdy lock and on board ventilation to prevent ‘prematurely ripening’.   Needing no comment, I will leave its symbolic aesthetics to your imagination. 


With a pistol toting logo, the ‘Protect your banana!’ strapline and even the option to customise your Bananaguard with a few select words or company emblem, surely their response to some of their FAQ’s could only be in good humour:

Q: “Is there a battery attachment?”

A: No. The Banana Guard was designed for its intended purpose only as a device to prevent banana trauma during transport.

Banana trauma? I’m all for avoiding a bruised banana so you’ll be pleased to know, they’re delivered world wide from Bananaguard directly to your door for the small fee of £3.99 each plus P & P or £34.99 for pack of seven.  Upgrade to the glow in the dark version (coming soon) for a nominal extra £1 per guard; a well spent investment enabling you to locate your fruity friend twenty four hours a day.


Best not to leave it sticking out of your bag in the office though.

Bananaguard in action preventing office related banana trauma

Bananaguard in action preventing office related banana trauma